Cookie Monsters
by RoadrunnerGER
Summary: Once more one of his passions gets Jack in trouble. Janto; M for their fooling around.


**Cookie Monster**

a Torchwood story

by RoadrunnerGER

_Disclaimer_: I don't own anything of Torchwood, RTD and the BBC do. This is just for fun.

_Summary_: Once more one of his passions gets Jack in trouble. Janto

A/N: Bummer that I couldn't get this finished before Christmas, but thanks to _Kitsa_ I can at least post it now. I hope you all had a great holiday and a Happy New Year! Enjoy!

xXx

With joyous expectation, Jack hurried up the stairs to his lover's flat. Even though he knew that he probably should look forward to the meeting with mixed emotions, he could not help but feel elated by the prospect of being with Ianto.

After pressing the buzzer, he had to wait only a short moment until his support officer opened the door for him.

"Hey, Yan," Jack greeted cheerfully.

"Sir," Ianto replied and stepped aside to let Jack pass.

Eyeing his partner with amused suspicion, Jack walked past him to the living room. "You know, it was you who invited me after all," he said. "No need to be so formal now, Yan."

Throwing his coat onto the easy chair, Jack dropped down on the sofa and spread his arms on the backrest. Upon seeing Ianto following him inside, his good mood evaporated to be replaced by dread. _I should have known better._

"No need to look so complacent, sir," Ianto snarled. "You're not here for an amorous tête-à-tête."

"I'm not?" Jack dared with a roguish grin.

"No."

Now Jack really became nervous. Reading Ianto's stern features, his icy stare and the stubbornly set jaw, he knew he was in trouble.

"Well, Captain Harkness," Ianto said matter of factly. "As you could not keep your fingers out of the cookie jar that I kept in the Hub you're going to replace what you have pilfered."

Jack sighed. He could do that.

"No problem, Yan. I'll just go to TESCO and buy a huge box of Christmas cookies."

Ianto scoffed.

"No, Jack. You won't get off that easily," the Welshman shook his head. "Those cookies were home made and supposed to be for our Christmas party that Gwen certainly will bring down on us."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Jack queried, throwing up both hands in a clueless gesture.

"You'll make new cookies."

"I'll make new cookies…" Jack parroted incredulously and prodded for verification, "You mean as in baking them myself?"

"Yes."

Jack choked. Throughout his long and adventurous life he had done a lot of things, even learned how to cook, but he never had tried his hand at baking. All of a sudden, he did not feel so cocky anymore.

"C'mon, Jack," Ianto commanded. "Into the kitchen."

Knowing that he would not be able to talk Ianto out of making him bake fresh cookies, Jack got up from the sofa and made his way over to the kitchen. On the counter, he found several jars and boxes with ingredients and implements as well as a printed recipe.

_Ianto really is deadly serious. Oh dear._

"Well, now… wash your hands and go ahead," Ianto ordered.

_Go ahead?_ Staring at the array in front of him, Jack was at a loss. He had no idea what he should do. _Someone help, please,_ he thought as he stepped to the sink and let the water run. Thoroughly, he washed his hands, using soap twice.

"That's enough, Jack," Ianto scolded. "Stop stalling."

"Okay," Jack mumbled and dried his hands on a towel. Still undecided, he stared at the stuff on the counter.

"I'd start with reading the recipe," Ianto suggested wryly.

"Um, yeah. Sure."

Jack stepped up to the counter and grabbed the piece of paper as if it was a rope saving him from drowning. His eyes saw the letters but his mind appeared to be unable to process what he was reading.

Ianto chuckled at Jack's helplessness, watching a moment longer before he took pity on him.

"All right, I'll help," he assured his captain. "Get the flour and the scale and weigh out 300 grams."

Sighing, Jack took the box and spooned flour into the scale's bowl until it showed the right weight. Then he followed Ianto's instruction and emptied the bowl into the sieve Ianto held over the big wooden baking board to sift it.

"Now we need 200 grams of sugar," Ianto told him and watched Jack take the measurement. "Make a hollow into the flour and put the sugar in."

Ianto smirked at Jack awkwardly digging into the mound of flour with a spoon in order to make room for the sugar. Once Jack had poured the sugar into the free middle, Ianto gave him the next order.

"Add two teaspoons of both vanilla sugar and rum-flavouring, as well as three drops of bitter almond oil."

"You sure I should do that?"

Scowling at Jack, Ianto put his fists on his hips. "Yes, I am sure. I mean, it's not as if I asked you to crack eggs. I'd have my doubts about the wisdom of letting you do that."

Now Jack had to chuckle. "That's my point."

"C'mon, Jack. We don't have all night."

Letting out another sigh, Jack followed the instructions. Under Ianto's watchful eyes, he then added a pinch of both ground cardamom and salt as well as 200 grams of cold margarine, cut in pieces, and 150 grams of ground walnuts.

"Ready now?" Jack asked eagerly.

"Yeah," Ianto agreed. "Now cover it all with flour and knead it thoroughly." When Jack reached for the box with flour, Ianto stepped up behind his partner. "No."

"No?"

"No."

Reaching around from behind, Ianto took Jack's hands to direct them to shove the flour from the outside of the ring up to cover the other ingredients. Then he placed Jack's palms on the middle and pressed, making Jack start to knead.

Jack smirked to himself. Ianto's hands felt great on his skin. It was so good that he could even tolerate the unusual sensation of flour and fat mingling under his palms.

"You need to work a little faster," Ianto murmured close to Jack's ear as he put his chin on the other man's shoulder to judge their progress.

"Like this?" Jack asked, kneading with alacrity. His fingers dug into the mix, quickly but with equal care, imagining it to be Ianto's bare back. Hearing his lover's deep breathing, Jack knew that his efforts hit home, which elicited a lewd grin. He kept kneading until he had a lump of firm dough finished.

"Yep," Ianto confirmed, sounding hoarse. "Now we should put it into the fridge until we finished the walnuts."

"The walnuts?" Jack asked disappointed, having hoped for another activity while the dough was getting cold.

"Yes." Ianto took the dough and placed it in a bowl that he put into the fridge. "There are two bags with walnuts. We'll need about 200 grams of those. And there's a bowl for the microwave to melt the chocolate."

_Chocolate sounds good,_ Jack grinned.

"I'd rather use a double boiler," he said. "I know that."

"All right," Ianto agreed.

This time, Jack knew what to do and put two pots on the stove, filling the bottom one with water. Then he took the dark chocolate he found next to the walnuts to put it into the other pot.

"Jack! Not the whole bar, 50 grams should be enough," Ianto tried to stop him.

"I'm sure we'll have use for the rest," Jack murmured seductively, smiling at Ianto over his shoulder with a wink. Seeing the Welshman blush, filled him with satisfaction. "You want to cover the walnuts with chocolate then?"

"Y-yes," Ianto murmured, momentarily confused by the turn his punishment for the cookie-thief had taken.

"All right."

Jack stirred the chocolate while it was melting and Ianto took the walnuts over to the living room. When Jack followed him with the chocolate pot, he noticed that a plastic table cloth covered the tabletop.

"I thought this would make it easier," Ianto explained, picked up a walnut and dipped it into the chocolate, covering half of it and placing the piece on the table.

"Looks like fun," Jack smirked, put the pot down and grabbed a handful of walnuts. Naturally, one of the freshly covered nuts vanished in his mouth which made Ianto clear his throat.

"Hey! You can pinch a bit when we're finished!"

"Sure," Jack complied and put his finger in his mouth, his lips closing around the digit carefully. Suckling on it, he cleared it of chocolate, all the while watching Ianto who could not tear his eyes off the captain. "Careful, Yan," Jack murmured. "Don't mess around with the chocolate."

"If someone's messing around it's you," Ianto complained.

"Do you have an apron?" Jack asked, inching closer to his partner. "I wouldn't want you to drip chocolate on your shirt."

"No, I don't have an apron," Ianto grumbled. "And I won't soil my shirt. I know what I'm doing."

"Accidents can happen," Jack whispered. "You should take the shirt off."

"Ah, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah," Jack sighed, taking Ianto's hand and guiding it up to his face. "Your fingers shouldn't be covered in chocolate, though. You'd smear it on the cuffs when you're removing the shirt."

"I'm not removing my shirt, Jack," Ianto croaked, sucking in a sharp breath when Jack closed his mouth around one of his fingers. Jack's tongue licking it clean tickled and heat rose inside of Ianto at the sight.

While Jack sucked on the next finger, he used his free hand to fumble Ianto's shirt buttons open.

"Don't," Ianto scolded. "That'd be icky, making cookies for others with no clothes on."

"No clothes?" Jack parroted the words that were most important for him. Releasing Ianto's hand, he reached for the fabric to pull it out of the trousers and push it off Ianto's shoulders.

"Don't!" Ianto repeated more insistently and wound away from the captain who looked really disappointed when Ianto buttoned up the shirt again. Then he rolled up his sleeves.

"Mmmm, better," Jack smirked. "At least something…" He eyed his lover appraisingly. His Welshman was so beautiful. "Let's finish the walnuts."

"Hey!" Ianto reprimanded as he slapped Jack's hand away from the pot. "We gotta wash our hands again!"

"Is that really necessary?" Jack pouted. "I'm not infectious."

"Doesn't matter," Ianto scolded. "We have spit on our fingers. I won't serve cookies with captain-flavour."

That made Jack chuckle. "Not even to Gwen for forcing her turkey on us?"

"No."

"All right," Jack conceded, looking crestfallen, and took Ianto's hand again to guide him back to the kitchen where he washed his partner's hands first, caressing the fingers gently until Ianto pulled them away.

"Get finished," Ianto commanded as he stepped aside, inwardly smirking at his lovers' antics.

"Yes, sir," Jack snickered.

Freshly washed, they returned to the living room.

Actually, Ianto's thoughts were far from walnuts. He had to force himself to concentrate on the task at hand. Peripherally, he noticed that Jack shed his braces. When he reached for his shirt as well, Ianto shot him a sharp look that made the captain think better of it and just roll his sleeves up like Ianto did. Then the captain was close beside him, working with obvious concentration. Concentration that became increasingly harder for Ianto to maintain, especially as Jack's hand brushed against his own every now and then. If Ianto was certain of one thing it was that this did not happen accidentally.

"All right. Now they have to dry," Ianto declared when he put the last walnut down. "Let's check on the dough."

The dough was cold and ready to be rolled out. That was Jack's job again and he started on it with enthusiasm.

"I want snowflakes!" Jack said. "Do you have a snowflake cookie cutter?"

"I have hearts, stars, and round ones," Ianto replied dryly.

"So old-fashioned."

"So practical to use as we want to fill the cookies later."

"Fill them?" Jack shouted with childlike glee.

"Yes, we'll fill them," Ianto confirmed, secretly wondering when his punishment had turned into joy. Somehow it seemed like Jack revelled in the simple task now and while it was quite obvious that the captain harboured erotic fantasies, Ianto could not help but wonder when it had been the last time that someone brought out this side of Jack with something like baking cookies. Producing some Christmas ornament cookie cutters as a compromise, Ianto went on, "But before we can fill them, we'll have to bake them, so be a good boy and cut the cookies out, all right?"

"Yes, sir!" Jack mock saluted cheerfully and set to work while Ianto preheated the oven. Soon, Jack had filled two sheets and looked at Ianto expectantly. "Is it hot already?"

The innocent remark made Ianto choke because Jack's expression was all but innocent.

"It should be 350 to 400 degrees Fahrenheit," he said, "so I set it on 375." In order to have something to do, he pushed the sheets in.

"How long do they need?" Jack asked, stepping closer to his Welshman.

"Five to ten minutes," Ianto told him, torn between evading the captain or letting him have his way.

"Anything we can accomplish while they bake?" Jack murmured seductively.

"Yes, we'll use up the rest of the dough," Ianto destroyed his hopes.

Grunting, Jack grabbed the lump of dough and rolled it out, choosing the biggest cookie cutters he could find in order to get done quickly. When he had filled two more sheets, the first batch was finished.

"Let's just finish up the rest," Ianto prodded and smirked proudly at watching Jack quickly roll and cut the remaining dough. "You're getting the hang of it now."

"By necessity," Jack grunted and quickly filled a last baking sheet. When Ianto put it into the oven, Jack leaned against the counter and looked at his lover hopefully.

"We should tidy up," Ianto suggested, putting the first cookies into a metal box to make space.

Jack groaned. "I knew you'd say that."

Together, they were quickly done, including putting the dried chocolate walnuts in a bowl, and Ianto checked on the last batch of cookies. "I think we can take them out," he said and switched off the oven. Then he took the sheet out and placed it on the counter to cool down.

"Anything else we can do until we can fill them?" Jack asked as he came back in from the living room.

Sensing Jack close beside him, Ianto tried to think of something to do. Jack's arm found its way around his waist and pulled him close. There was no way to resist.

"There's chocolate."

"Where?" Ianto rasped.

"In the corner of your mouth," Jack murmured and gently took Ianto's chin with the fingers of his right hand to steady him. Bending forward, he claimed Ianto's mouth with his own. At first he let the kiss linger before he pushed his tongue out, brushing over Ianto's full lips, finding the chocolate and licking it away.

"You're always finding an excuse, aren't you?" Ianto complained huskily, even though he leaned into Jack's embrace. Their lips brushed against each other.

"Always," Jack replied and it sounded like a promise.

"You're incorrigible."

Jack chuckled and kissed Ianto again. His fingers threaded in the dark curls to keep him from backing out. With his free hand, he caressed Ianto's spine, teasing the special spots he knew so well by now. Happily Jack sighed into his lover's mouth as he sensed him respond. Ianto's caresses were aimed just as well, heightening Jack's passion.

"We… should finish… the cookies," Ianto gasped between kisses.

"Doesn't that have time?" Jack growled against his lover's cheek. "I thought the cookies need to cool down."

"They do," Ianto agreed. "Just… look at it this way. Once we're finished, we can do what we want."

"That a promise?" Jack teased, tickling Ianto's side.

"Y-yes," Ianto replied, his voice shuddering with growing excitement.

"Okay," Jack said and released his hold, stepping to the counter. "What do I have to do next?"

Ianto was left stunned, trying to regain his equilibrium. Breathing hard, he looked at Jack's back incredulously.

"Ianto? What do I do?"

Gathering his senses, Ianto joined the captain.

"The redcurrant jelly," he said, gesturing at the jar. "Spread it on the cookies and glue them together."

"Oh, cool! Redcurrant filling!" Jack cheered with utter delight. "You know I love that!"

"Yeah," Ianto replied. Quickly, he washed his hands again, before he took a bowl himself and a package of confectioner's sugar. "I'll make the icing."

"All right," Jack smirked, stepping over to the sink. When his hands were clean, he reached for a knife and the first cookie. "Those will be wonderful."

"And they'll taste all the better for having made them yourself."

"Yeah," Jack drawled, mischief lacing his voice.

"Oh, no, sir!" Ianto rushed to scold. "You won't touch the finished cookies until the party! I'll seal the box!"

Jack chuckled. "No problem… as long as you divert my attention from them."

Hearing the lust carrying in Jack's tone let Ianto feel chills run down his spine. Hastily, he concentrated on his task again, sifting the sugar and mixing it with water and lemon juice. Picking up a baking brush, Ianto took the first pair of cookies, covering the top with icing and placing a chocolate walnut on it when he put it back on the baking sheet.

"Perfect!" Jack cheered, reaching out for the cookie.

"Don't you dare!" Ianto slapped his hand away.

"Ouch!"

"Serves you right."

_I love his bossy side._ Jack smirked. _Just wait until we're finished._

Plotting his sweet revenge, Jack kept working. Every now and then, he glanced at Ianto, wondering if he suspected anything. Right now, he seemed to be oblivious to the constant romantic threat the captain posed.

_This'll be awesome! Mmm, I can't wait!_

Quickly, Jack generously covered the bottom cookies to glue the pairs together. When he put the last one down, he leaned against the counter and watched Ianto ice the cookies.

"I assume we're finished when you're done with those?"

"Yes, Jack," Ianto confirmed.

"Good. I'll be right back," Jack said and vanished toward the bedroom.

Ianto watched him go with trepidation. Of course, he knew that Jack was up to something and he racked his brain, trying to figure out what it might be this time.

As he did not want to just stand and wait for Jack to return, Ianto busied himself with cleaning the utensils that could not go into the dishwasher and put away what they did not need anymore.

"Whoa!" Ianto yelped when a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind and lifted him up easily. He had been so distracted by his work that he did not hear Jack approach on bare feet. "Jack! What are you doing?"

"You ordered me around tonight, now it's my turn," Jack threatened lightly as he started for the living room.

"Jack! Put me down! I can walk!"

"Nope."

"Jack!"

"No!"

Even though he put up a fight, Ianto could not free himself. Jack held him tight, carrying him with ease. Beside the dining table he put him down. Ianto was about to turn around and admonish his lover when two hands on his shoulders stopped him.

"Don't."

"Jack, tell me what…"

"Shhh," Jack hushed him. "Don't talk."

"But I want to know what we're doing here."

"You'll find out in no time," Jack murmured and kissed the back of Ianto's neck. His fingers toyed with the dark curls. Then he slid a blindfold over Ianto's eyes.

Ianto gasped.

"Jack?"

"Shhh."

Swallowing his increasing anxiety, Ianto remained standing and silent. A long moment passed but nothing happened. Ianto was about to ask again when Jack gave him an order.

"Undress."

Chills ran down Ianto's back. Hesitantly, he reached for the buttons on his shirt. His heart was beating wildly in his chest as he sensed Jack's intense gaze bore into his back.

"C'mon," Jack murmured seductively. "Strip for me."

Ever so slowly, Ianto unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off. Equally slowly, he opened and pushed down his trousers and stepped out of them. Then he removed his socks. Before he let his briefs follow, he hesitated again. This was not the first time he was intimate with Jack. Far from it. Still the situation made him feel queasy.

Finally, he slipped out of his briefs as well.

Behind him, Jack eyed him in awe, admiring the firm muscles. He yearned to touch the round buttocks, imagining kneading them and finding the tight ring of muscles between them. In his mind's eye, he teased Ianto there, sensing him shudder with delight.

_Soon_, Jack thought_. Let's enjoy the play. We have time. There's no need to rush. Oh, you're so beautiful._

In the meantime anticipation was building inside of Ianto, making it increasingly difficult to just stand and wait. His muscles tensed and his hands clenched and unclenched in an attempt to release the tension.

All of a sudden, he felt Jack's hands on his skin, arms wrapping around him, and he was lifted up again, dipping sideways this time.

"Jack!" he protested. "What are you doing?"

Once more, Ianto gasped when his butt touched something cool. Being lowered backwards, Ianto's back and shoulders came to rest on the smooth and cool surface as well.

_The plastic table cloth!_ Ianto realized as Jack laid him down. _He put me on the dining table!_

"Jack? What are you…?"

A finger over his lips stopped him.

"Don't ask, Yan," Jack whispered. "You said we could do whatever we want when we're finished with the cookies. You promised."

"You just said it… _we_."

"You don't like it?" Jack queried.

"I didn't say that. I'd just like to know what you're up to."

"Don't wanna tell."

"I noticed," Ianto grumbled, wishing he could see Jack.

For a moment, Jack contemplated his words.

"You trust me, don't you?" he then challenged.

"I do, cariad," Ianto assured him.

"I won't do anything you wouldn't agree to. You know that."

"Yeah."

"So I have your consent?" Jack asked carefully. "You know our safe-word. Tell me if you really don't want something."

This time, Ianto took a moment to think about his answer.

"All right."

With a rush, Jack let out a breath he did not know he had been holding. Chills ran down his spine at the prospect of having Ianto at his disposal. Not for the first time, he marvelled at the level of trust his Welshman had in him. He would do whatever was in his power to reward that trust.

For a moment, Jack just kept watching Ianto. Carefully, the Welshman tried to shift his position, his tension visible in his motions. To Jack the play of muscles was exciting and he had to take a few deep breaths.

Tenderly, Jack took hold on Ianto's right wrist before he reached for something behind his back, pulling out a length of rope that he had pushed under his belt when he was in the bedroom. He sensed Ianto's reluctance when he moved his arm toward the table leg. Wrapping the rope around his wrist made Ianto gasp and Jack smiled when he had to hold on strongly as Ianto began to struggle.

Quickly, Jack tied the rope to the table leg now and grabbed for Ianto's left arm. Once Ianto could pull away before Jack managed to take a hold on him and strap the rope in place. On his way to the other end of the table, Jack could not help but let a fingertip trail along Ianto's side.

Automatically, Ianto squirmed away from the touch, but Jack firmly grasped his leg before he could start kicking, took another length of rope and tied Ianto's left ankle to the table leg as well. Even though Ianto did his best to give Jack a hard time to grab his right ankle, he could not prevent him from doing so. A moment later all his limbs were bound in spread eagle position.

Jack contemplated his work.

_Yeah, that's it. The rope's loose enough to allow him to wriggle but will keep him from escaping._

Jack stepped up beside the table, looking down at Ianto sprawled on the tabletop. Slowly, a delightful smile spread on his features.

"You know, you're my favourite Welsh cookie," he murmured softly.

Bending down over his helpless Welshman, he found the right of the two firm nubs and lightly took it between his teeth, biting down just enough to elicit a moan of pleasurable pain from Ianto. With kisses, he made his way over to the left side of Ianto's chest and bit the second knob, too.

Hovering over Ianto then, he murmured, "And now I'm gonna ice you."

_Oh?_

Ianto's stomach muscles fluttered with anxious anticipation. Bound and blindfolded as he was, he had no way to tell what Jack was going to do. All he could do was guess.

From experience, he knew that Jack would make him wait again. Especially now. Struggling was part of the game so Jack would give him time to settle into his role.

As he had expected, he heard Jack walk away. Even though he listened closely, Ianto could not tell what Jack was doing.

_What is he up to? Bugger. Wish I could see._

Knowing that the blindfold did exactly what it was supposed to do, building his tension, did nothing to ease Ianto's anxiety. With every minute dragging on, he became more restless. Straining against his bonds made the wood of the table creak.

_He's not gone back to eat all the cookies, right? Wouldn't put it past him._

Low chuckles announced Jack's return.

Breathing deeply, Ianto tried to control his growing anticipation, knowing that it would only be released when Jack started to play.

_Where will he touch first? What will he do? And God help you, Jack, if I'm going to taste walnut cookies in your kisses!_

Expecting the languorous touch of Jack's hands, Ianto was taken very much by surprise when something chilly brushed over the underside of his forearms.

A gasp escaped him.

Sucking in a sharp breath was his way to react when something cold trailed along both his sides.

_What?_

His chest turned out to be the next target, the soft but cool something drawing spirals around the centres of his chest and closing in on the nubs that stood firmly when they were touched.

_He cooled down his hands,_ Ianto now realized. _What did he do? Put them in the freezer? They are so cold._

"Whoa!" he yelped a moment later when Jack's cold fingers brushed along the inside of his thighs.

The sound elicited another chuckle from Jack.

_I never thought it might be that easy to make him call out,_ the captain cheered inwardly. _Usually he's so controlled, even if he's in a playful mood!_

Jack picked up the ice pack to cool his warming hands. If his sense play gained such results he was going to continue it. Once his fingers felt cool enough, he reached out for Ianto and let a fingertip trail along his groin.

Reflexively, the Welshman's hips bucked, the sudden motion making the table creak.

Grinning wickedly, Jack cooled his fingers again to prepare for his next sweet attack on Ianto's most sensitive parts. He was about to reach for Ianto's core when the doorbell rang. Jack pricked his ears and looked down at the Welshman who tensed visibly in his bonds.

"Jack?" Ianto gasped. "Release me."

Quirking an eyebrow, Jack eyed his partner quizzically, "Why? Do you think I couldn't answer the door?"

While Ianto carefully weighed his answer, Jack interpreted his silence as clear scepticism.

"Oh, you doubtful minds. Let me prove you wrong," Jack said, pressing a quick, ravishing kiss to his Welshman's lips.

"Jack, wait!" Ianto gasped, a pang of terror hitting him as he heard his lover move toward the door.

"Be right back," the captain promised as he slipped out into the hallway.

Ianto heard the squeak of hinges as the door swung shut behind him.

"At least put your shirt on," he sighed, but the captain was already gone and Ianto did not intend to yell after him.

"_Hello?"_

Beneath the blindfold, Ianto cocked a brow. If the door would have shut completely, he should not have been able to hear Jack so clearly.

_Could someone see me?_

Anxiously, Ianto wracked his mind about the angle of the line of sight from the entrance to the living room door. He knew that you could look inside, but was the dining table in straight view?

"_Oh, er, hi! Is Ianto here?"_

Ianto rolled his eyes at that. When he realized what he was doing, even under the blindfold, he smirked. He knew Jack secretly adored the expression and deliberately did things to bring it on. At least no one would hear the motion.

_"I'm Jack. Was there something I could do for you?"_

_"Er, sure!"_

Curiously, Ianto noted excitement in Carol's tone.

"_I-If you don't mind, that is. I'm just right across the hall. It won't take a minute."_

Now, Ianto grinned at Carol's enthusiasm. She'd had a crush on him since the day she moved in. Her toilet had clogged that first night and the building superintendent had been unreachable. He'd come to her rescue with a plunger, a mop, and disinfectant. Since then, she'd had minor emergencies at least once a week – a stain on the carpet, a picture needing hanging, more than once a stopped up loo – always when the super was unavailable but never serious enough to merit calling his after-hours number. After two months, it was getting rather tedious, but if Jack could divert her attention, Ianto thought she might just leave him alone for a while.

_"I'd be happy to help," Jack agreed cheerfully. "What's the problem?"_

"_My toilet's stopped up again,"_ Carol grumbled.

_With a strange undertone of eagerness,_ Ianto thought and grinned at himself. His lover was a magnificent sight. Knowing that, he could not really begrudge Carol her obvious interest.

"_It's actually how Ianto and I met. He really saved me my first night here. Lord knows what the previous tenants might have put down the loo. It seems to happen quite a lot, just not when the building super is around to fix it properly. So, how do you know Ianto?"_

"_We work together,"_ Jack replied.

_"Oh? Doing what, exactly?"_

Ianto held his breath. If Jack gave her the wrong answer, he would have some explaining to do. Jack knew he kept his lies as close to the truth as possible, less to remember that way, but the captain rather preferred to just tell the truth trusting most people to dismiss it as balderdash and retconning those who didn't.

_"Isn't Ianto some sort of librarian or something?" Carol asked._

Ianto sighed quietly. For once, he was grateful for her incessant chattering rather than annoyed by it. Now Jack only had to agree with what she already knew.

_"He's an archivist, yes," Jack agreed. "I mostly collect the artefacts that he archives."_

_"Oh? Where do the two of you work?" Carol continued grilling him, hoping to get the answers Ianto had avoided giving her all this time. "There are so many libraries and museums in Cardiff."_

_"Actually, it's a private collection," Jack told her. "Very private. We're contractually prohibited from revealing our employer's identity. Now, if you'll excuse me…"_

"_Please, wait," Carol tried to stop him._

"_Why so anxious?" Jack soothed. "I need to finish something up, but then I'll be right back with that plunger."_

Ianto gave a silent groan and thought he did not hear right when Carol said, _"What could be more important?"_

Well, he could not see what was going on, but recalling the way she more often than not dressed when she showed up on his doorstep to ask for his help, Ianto could imagine that she probably presented her best physical features to the captain.

"_You know,"_ Jack began, and a second later, Ianto felt his heartbeat pausing with incredulity, _"having Ianto tied to the dining table is impossible to beat."_

A silent moment of shock passed.

A moment that made Ianto infinitely aware of the fact that his manhood stood hard and proud, about ready to burst.

Then Jack laughed.

"_You're not thinking what I think you're thinking, right, Carol?"_ the captain gasped between chuckles. _"We're making cookies for our boss's Christmas party, and it would be very unfair of me to leave all the work to Ianto."_

"_Oh!" Carol rushed to cut in. "Oh, no! Of course not!"_

"_The chocolate's just melted and we have to get going. We'll just ice our cookies and then I'll be over with the plunger. All right?"_

"_O-o-kay,"_ Carol stuttered.

Ianto never had heard her so flustered. Usually, she hardly knew shame when it came to pursuing him. Now, he could only imagine that Jack did something cheeky, let go of his untamed nature, that caught her on the wrong foot and left her stuttering. Imagining what that action might have been, took Ianto over the edge.

A moment later, the front door fell in its frame. Even though Jack did not reappear at once, Ianto still had not been able to control his breathing yet when the captain returned to the living room.

"Hey, you got started without me?" Jack pouted at the glorious sight. "No fair!"

"Well," Ianto hissed, "guess that's how I felt when you pilfered all the cookies."

Despite himself, Jack had to chuckle.

"What the bloody hell did you do?" Ianto prodded.

"Obviously, I didn't have to do anything," Jack mused, letting a fingertip trail through the wet evidence of Ianto's orgasm on his stomach.

"With Carol!" Ianto hissed, shuddering involuntarily at the languorous touch that caught him totally by surprise as he still was blindfolded. Renewed excitement flooded him that made his voice husky as he went on, "She sounded like she wanted to drag you over to her flat."

"Jealous?" the captain snickered playfully, teasing one of Ianto's nipples. "Can you hold that against her?"

Grunting with displeasure, Ianto argued, "More against you. You shouldn't have made me sound so bloody mysterious. Now she'll never leave me alone."

"Why so angry?" Jack chuckled on his way over to the kitchen. "I think she's cute."

"Cute?" Ianto scoffed. "She's a nuisance!" Oh, how he wished Jack would at least take away the blindfold so he could glare at him. "Over here at least once a week. It's gotten to the point where I just hand her the plunger or the electric drill or the carpet clear and shut the door."

"Ianto Jones," Jack quietly scolded upon his return. Gently, he wiped away the mess Ianto had made. Then, as he prepared his next sweet attack, he queried, "Where is your sense of chivalry? She is a lady in distress!"

"She's a bloody stal-a-alker," Ianto trailed off as his voice hitched when something warm touched his chest. Trying hard to focus, he went on, "Last time her toilet was clogged, I fished a pair of knickers out of it. She does it deliberately to lure me over there. You should've just gotten rid of her so we could get back to what we-e-e… wha-what are you d-doing-ing-ing?"

Trembling, Ianto futilely tried to pull away and only just managed not to moan when the warm whatever hit his stomach with a wetly smacking sound.

"Icing my cookie," Jack chirped innocently. Once more, he dipped a spoon into his choice of toy and let it then run onto Ianto's stomach, where it slid into his belly button.

"Chocolate?" Ianto guessed.

"Yep," Jack confirmed. "As we're finished with the walnuts, the rest shouldn't go to waste, right?"

"R-r-right."

Trembling with expectation, Ianto lay on the table. In an attempt to regain control, he strained against his bonds.

"Who knows," Jack murmured as he used his finger to paint a chocolate heart around Ianto's left nipple, "maybe she won't stalk you anymore."

"Huh?"

"I was under the impression that I made an impact on her," Jack snickered, taking joy in seeing Ianto growing hard again. "So I'm not going to get rid of her…"

Jack began with brushing a fingertip gently from root to tip.

"I am going…"

He continued with a light pull.

"To help her…"

Another long, slow pull.

And Ianto could feel his arousal grow with every delicious ministration.

"Which is what you…"

This time Jack griped him a little tighter, pulled a little harder, and Ianto involuntarily arched up from the table.

"Should be doing…"

Another tug, and Ianto was thrusting into the air.

"Every time."

Ianto bucked and strained at his bonds, making the table creak and shudder as fingers, slick with chocolate, wrapped around his balls.

"Jack?" Ianto breathlessly muttered, "You wouldn't have… I mean, when you told her about having me tied to the table…"

"I wouldn't have done what?" Jack prodded, his voice hoarse with lust.

"Invited her in," it burst out of Ianto.

"Hmmmm," Jack hummed thoughtfully, letting his gaze wander over his Welshman appreciatively, "You know me, Yan, I have a reputation to live up to, and… judging by your body's responses… you're not adverse to the idea of a threesome."

"_Not_ with Carol!" Ianto shot back.

So fast that Jack had to laugh.

"I'll remind you," the captain chuckled, committing the information that Ianto did not generally dismiss the suggestion to memory.

All Ianto could do was groan as he felt his body betraying his deceptively sour mood.

"Well then," Jack mused aloud, "I'll go now and fix that loo. In the meantime," Jack leaned over to whisper in Ianto's ear without letting go of him, "I want you to lie here and think absolutely filthy thoughts of me. I expect you to be hard and hot and _dripping_ for me when I get back. Do you understand?

Ianto only nodded.

"Say it," Jack demanded.

Ianto shook his head. Under the blindfold, his eyes were screwed shut and to keep from crying out, he already bit his lip so hard he feared to draw blood.

A naughty finger found the tight little pucker in his back side and just lightly pressed against it.

Ianto swallowed another moan.

"Say it," Jack insisted. "Say, 'Yes, sir'."

Ianto refused again with another shake of his head.

"She's waiting…" Jack drawled.

The teasing digit pressed lightly and barely breached Ianto's hole. He could stay silent no longer and made the tiniest whimper in his throat.

"Don't make her wait too long, or she might be back looking for me," Jack taunted, "So you better say it."

Ianto took a long, deep breath when the teasing finger wiggled just the tiniest bit at his opening, and then finally, he was able to gasp, "Yes, sir. I understand."

"Excellent," Jack said lightly, and moved away from him completely. "I shan't be gone long, so you better dig out your dirtiest little fantasies if you want to be ready for me when I get back."

"Yes, sir," Ianto whispered as he heard the rustle of fabric from Jack putting on his shirt.

Then he heard Jack move into the kitchen, the water running when he washed the chocolate off his hands, and the cupboard door open and closed as he retrieved the plunger. Jack moved back through the dining room, ignoring Ianto entirely, and the dining room door squeaked open and closed.

And Ianto was left alone, naked, and tied spread eagle to his dining room table.

_Well, at least Jack's attention is now thoroughly diverted from the cookies,_ he thought as he recalled how he got himself into this awkward position. Sometimes he was surprised by himself, but still, God in heaven help him, he was loving it.

_The End_

A/N: In case anyone's interested… the cookie recipe actually works. It's our family's favourite that I have to make every Christmas season. Enjoy! ;)


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